The Consciousologist
Self-Esteem
Among all the judgments we make in life, none is as crucial as the judgment we pass on ourselves. This self-assessment influences every moment and facet of our existence. It forms the fundamental context for our actions and reactions, the selection of our values, the setting of our objectives, and the way we face life's challenges. Our reactions to events are partly shaped by our self-perception – our self-esteem.
The foundation of our need for self-esteem lies in the necessity for consciousness to trust itself. This need arises from the volitional nature of consciousness: the choice to engage in thought or not. We hold the power to brighten or dim our consciousness. Rationality, or a focus on reality, is not innate; it requires a conscious effort. Thus, our ability to adapt our minds to life's demands is ultimately determined by the choices we make.
Self-esteem involves feeling capable of managing life's fundamental challenges and deserving of happiness. It has two key components: self-efficacy, which is the confidence in our cognitive abilities to think, learn, choose, and make sound decisions; and self-respect, which is the assurance in our entitlement to happiness and the conviction that accomplishments, success, friendship, respect, love, and fulfilment are fitting for us. The essential challenges of life encompass basics such as earning a livelihood and being self-sufficient, being adept in interpersonal relationships to ensure mostly satisfying interactions with others, and possessing the resilience to recover from setbacks and persist in our goals.
Building self-esteem is neither a quick nor an easy task. It cannot be done directly. Instead, self-esteem results from engaging in fundamental internal practices that demand a continuous commitment to self-reflection and raising your own consciousness; Nathaniel Branden is widely regarded as the 'godfather' of self esteem and his six pillars of healthy self-esteem are a fundamental part of your Consciousology journey;
- Living consciously: Being attentive to information and feedback regarding needs and goals, confronting facts that may be uncomfortable or threatening, and rejecting the notion of meandering through life in a self-induced haze.
- Self-acceptance: Being open to experiencing our true thoughts, feelings, and actions, even when they are not to our liking, is important. It involves confronting our mistakes and learning from them.
- Self-responsibility: Gaining a sense of control in our lives comes from recognising that we are accountable for our choices and actions at all levels, which influences the attainment of our goals, our happiness, and our values.
- Self-assertiveness: The readiness to appropriately express our thoughts, values, and feelings, to assert ourselves, and to speak and act according to our deepest convictions is essential.
- Living purposefully: Setting goals and striving to attain them allows us to live proactively, rather than being at the mercy of chance and external forces, thereby cultivating self-discipline.
- Integrity: Aligning our behaviour with our ideals, convictions, standards, and beliefs means acting in harmony with what we consider to be right.
From a young age, many of us are conditioned to focus more on external cues from others rather than our internal signals. We're often taught to neglect our own desires and needs in favour of meeting the expectations of others. This aspect of our inner self is referred to as our 'emotional blueprint' and is something we will explore at length during your sessions.
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